Saturday, January 31, 2015

Yay for winning the technology battle!

One of my favorite pics of Rick with his pal Robin
Finally got the RSS feed software working and therefore could complete setting up new itunes for the shows. Seriously. It's taken months and several sessions with IT to get it straight.
I have a reputation for having an adverse impact on anything electronic or computer related. So this is huge. lol!

I'll be posting links as soon as itunes uploads the last show recorded (which you can access at and gives me a thumbs up on the setup.

In the interim stay tuned next week for Breaking Taboo with comedian and actor Rick Overton. We'll be discussing Monsanto, activism and the power of da people. If you have any questions for Rick (or me) email me at lakotaphillips (at) gmail and we'll share any good ones on the show.

In addition to being an amazing comedian and actor, Rick is a powerful advocate for people's rights.

Friday, January 30, 2015

Pitfalls of Honesty

Red Witch Silenced by Lakota
I attended the morning session of a TEDx event and one of the speakers asked who liked their jobs and saw themselves doing it for the next two decades. Like an idiot i raised my hand and noted the vast sea of unraised hands around me. (To be fair, there were a handful pun intended... who also raised their hands. Out of 500 people.)

She also asked who thought they'd make a good talk show host. Well. Given what i do, I of course raised my hand. In a room full of people sitting on their hands. It struck me then that i was being too honest.  Again. I looked like a dork in a room full of well behaved professionals, who knew better than to raise their hands.

It's this problem i have. If asked a direct question I will automatically answer honestly. Even if the answer is uncomfortable to either myself, the asker, or both. I don't stop and think about that part. Will my answer benefit or harm the person asking? Do they have a right to the answer?

Fed up with the fallout of my over abundant honesty, my family has tried to coach me on evasive answers. My son will even practice with me. It not that he's trying to teach me to lie, so much as he's trying to teach me to keep my mouth shut, and not automatically spill information.... especially when there are circumstances that make truth inappropriate or unwanted.

I've said very inappropriate things in highly sensitive situations. Shocking I know. I have very few boundaries. My brain doesn't work quite like other people's and i don't have a high bar set for what is improper.  Okay  i don't have an improper bar at all. To be honest.

Add to that the fact that I'm a terrible liar. One of those people who trips over their tongue and looks aghast if i try to lie. I ain't fooling no one. So why bother.

But I am trying to learn discretion and the value of keeping my lips zipped, as well as accepting that lies of omission aren't really bad. Not REALLY. Especially when it's no one's goddamn business.

But a lifetime of being bluntly honest is a hard habit to break.

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Functioning Under the Crush of Sorrow

I've been crying sporadically this week for no apparent reason.
Well, there is a reason. I've just been in denial over it. For two years now.

A couple is murdered and i sit at my desk and sob.
A fictional character dies and i have to take a break from reading so i can compose myself. That sort of thing. I'm usually much better at controlling myself.

I have the process of locking things up in tiny boxes inside and hiding those boxes in deep, dark corners down to a freakin' science. It's how i learned to cope with things in life that are impossible to handle.

It's not working this week. Possibly because it's the two year anniversary of my mother's passing. And i never really let myself cry. Just locked it all up and put it away so i could keep functioning.

Last weekend at a party a woman was bitching about her mother, complaining about how fussy she is and what a bother. I had to walk away to keep myself from grabbing her and shaking her to make her understand that someday, she won't have a mother. It's inevitable. It's coming.

I was told that the buried sorrow would eventually claw it's way to the surface and have to be dealt with. Yup. That was a truth. Now i have to function despite feeling like my heart and soul have been forcefully cracked open to free a river of tears that flows without regard to convenience. I was told it gets easier with time. That isn't true. Not this time. It gets worse.

I miss her. So much.
I wrap myself in her shawl and carry pieces of her jewelry with me to comfort myself, but there isn't any comfort to be found. I just have to wait i suppose, for the flood to ease so i can close the box lid again. Except maybe this time i won't push it into a dark corner and i won't lock it. This time i'll place it in a window sill where the sun can shine on the bright memories.

In the interim i'll function the best i can, trying to hide the sorrow.

BREAKING TABOO - Freedom of Speech and Selective Righteousness

Allan Coberly
New episode of Breaking Taboo with discussion on Charlie Hebdo, Nigerian slayings, Pervy Russian drivers, and so much more.
Allan Coberly, the New Breakfast Snob from Richmond's 
WRIR 97.3fm
joins me to dissect worldly matters and poke fun at Putin.

Breaking Taboo - 2015-01-20 Segment -> click to listen