I didn't wake up one morning and decide i was a dominatrix. Maybe there are some people who just decide "this is who i am and in my free time i'm going to torture lovely submissives." I'd probably find their motives suspect.
Despite being a redhead and infused with a genetic cocktail of irish, german and native american temper - i'm typically a nonviolent person.
I detest confrontation. I try to see the best in everyone. I consciously avoid causing harm to anyone, whenever possible. Unless i have a flogger in my hand. Then all bets are off and I morph into a joyfully demonic sadist who takes enormous pleasure in meeting the needs of my subbies. By inflicting pain that lingers for days.
And that's the key. Right there. Meeting one's own needs by meeting the needs of others. The D/s relationship is exquisitely rich with layers of complexity. There's not only consensual power exchange, there's the psychological aspects, the emotional components and of course the physical, which involves endorphine rushes that beats the hell out of everything else (no pun intended). Riding that line between pain and pleasure and feeling your very soul expand, spreading into territory you never knew existed... well, unless you've been there - you simply can't imagine it. The Domme in me loves giving that gift to the submissives who grant me their trust. And their pain. Because there is pain. Not the "oh fuck, i smashed my hand" kind of pain. The "holy shit that hurts in the best damn way possible" type of pain. It hurts... but it doesn't.
I know this because in addition to being a Domme, i have a Master who likes to dish back everything (and then some) of whatever i deliver to my subs. It's like a perfect karmic cycle. I actually started out as a submissive, but even from the start i didn't submit easily... or gracefully. I can remember a couple of instances of having my clothes ripped off when i resisted. (oh lawd, i love my memories.)
While on the journey with him, an amazing thing happened - an aspect of myself that i had buried deep because it was so frightening, began to blossum. Thank all the goddesses that my lover is such an insightful man that he recognized what was happening and encouraged me to explore these emerging parts of myself. He became not just my Master but my teacher. Every compliment i receive from other Doms and from my beautiful subs belong to him.
I didn't wake up one morning and decide I was a dominatrix. It flowed out of me naturally, growing until it wrapped around me like a comfortable skin. One that always belonged.